I seem to be good at getting bored lately...
hehe... ok, just to get this thread started... an old joke... but always fun!
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglassed on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom, don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something ask if they want that super sized.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favour."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what gender they are.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area & play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, rock hard
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! Won! 3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your childern over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20.Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.
21. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."
22. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
40 Fun things to do in an elevator
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'
2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
5. Shave.
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'
7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
12. Do Tai Chi exercises.
13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'
14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, d**n motion sickness!'
15. Meow occasionally.
18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'
19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.
21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.
22. Leave a box between the doors.
23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.
25. Start a sing-along.
26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'
27. Play the harmonica.
28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.
29. Lean against the button panel.
30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
33. Bring a chair along.
34. Blow spit bubbles.
35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'